Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow Summary

A Quick Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow Summary

The concepts in this book will change how you view relationships entirely.

The book is an easy read that will help you to learn a new perspective about the biology of sex and how hormones heavily influence mating behaviors in long-term relationships.

Keep reading for a Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow Summary, which is a text written by Marnia Robinson! Click here to buy the book at Amazon.com.

The Effects of Sex on Brain Chemistry (Book Summary)

Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow Quotes

“HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS BOOK TO MY FRIENDS?”

Mammalian Mating vs Bonding Programs driving intimate relationships

MATING: urge to exhaust ourselves sexually as often as possible “habituation pedal”

Often leads partners to habituate to each (& get fed up with one another)

BONDING: increases balance & makes togetherness more deeply satisfying “harmony pedal”

With knowledge → more conscious choice

A SYNOPSIS OF KEY IDEAS

• Mating – The “Habituation Pedal”

1. • Driven by a very old part of the brain (common to all mammals)
   • Our mammalian brain can’t “think” & instead operates on impulses

• Is the seat of our REWARD circuitry that governs our drives, desires, & emotions

1. • Falling in love causes neurochemical changes in reward circuitry
     • Exciting HONEYMOON chemicals normally keep us slightly addicted to our loves for as long as TWO YEARS (though they can wear off sooner anytime)

• • • • This timing on average is to last long enough for the caregivers to bond to a CHILD if one was to be conceived
• No mammals are 100% monogamous
  • Very few pair up for life
  • More mates improves our genes’ chances for survival
  • Your biology does not care about your “happiness”
• Sexual satiety (the “I’m done!” feeling) leads mates to tire of each other
  • Once honeymoon neurochemistry fades, the emotional distance caused by acting upon sexual desire becomes more noticeable
• Neurochemical fluctuations happen after orgasm
  • Can make a mate look less “rewarding” → feeling like falling out of love (habituation)
• Also can make potential new mates look very appealing (because neurochemically excited by paying attention to novelty)
  • This phenomenon of habituation is observed in both male & female mammals
• Neurochemical fluctuations last for approximately TWO WEEKS – a PASSION CYCLE
  • Sometimes is very subtle but can make lovers feel unusually needy, anxious, drained, or irritable throughout the two weeks as your brain chemistry attempts to return to baseline normal
  • Due to recurring discomfort in a passion cycle, we may begin to associate our lover or intimate relationships as a source of stress
  • However, orgasm will still seem like a good idea (despite being the cause of the neurochemical imbalances)
• In the case of SUPERSTIMULATION, the lows/comedown of a passion cycle can drive a person to seek another orgasm ASAP in order to self-medicate
  • Superstimulation scenarios: internet porn, risky sex, forbidden sex
  • Repeated stimulation causes repeated lows → the search for relief via orgasm may become habitual, causing an oversensitivity to sexual cues + compulsive behavior
• Reversing this to restore equilibrium can require ABSTINENCE from sexual stimuli & orgasm because of semi-permanent changes in reward circuitry
  • Helpful tools to ease the return to balance: BONDING BEHAVIORS, contact with others, visualization techniques, exercise, & meditation

Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow Book Chapters

1. Ch. 1: BIOLOGY HAS PLANS FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE
2. WISDOM OF THE AGES: TAOISM
3. Ch. 2: ELEPHANTS IN THE LIVING ROOM
4. WISDOM OF THE AGES: CHRISTIANITY
5. Ch. 3: A WHALE’S TAIL
6. WISDOM OF THE AGES: HINDUISM
7. Ch. 4: AT THE HEART OF THE SEPARATION VIRUS
8. WISDOM OF THE AGES: CORTEZIA
9. Ch. 5: THE PASSION CYCLE
10. WISDOM OF THE AGES: MALE CONTINENCE
11. Ch. 6: THE ROAD TO EXCESS
12. WISDOM OF THE AGES: KAREZZA – ALICE B. STOCKHAM, MD
13. Ch. 7: LEARNING TO STEER
14. WISDOM OF THE AGES: KAREZZA – J. WILLIAM LLOYD, MD
15. Ch. 8: SCIENCE THAT BINDS
16. WISDOM OF THE AGES: BUDDHISM
17. Ch. 9: BRIDGING THE GAP
18. WISDOM OF THE AGES: RAINBOW SERPENT TRADITIONS
19. Ch. 10: THE PATH OF HARMONY
20. WISDOM OF THE AGES: TRANSORGASMIC SEX
21. “HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS BOOK TO MY FRIENDS?”
22. The Ecstatic Exchanges

It is worth the read! You can use this link to buy the book at Amazon.com.

Related Articles You May Enjoy Reading Next

The 9 Best Books on MBTI Personality Types for Beginners

Can You be Introverted and Extroverted?

33 Insanely Good Tony Robbins Quotes on Gratitude, Happiness, & Motivation

22 Insanely Good Jordan Peterson Quotes on Life, Success, & Leadership

22 Artist of Life Inspiring Bruce Lee Quotes

25 Deeply Powerful Notebook Prayer Journal Ideas

9 Thought-Provoking Rachel Carson Quotes on the Balance of Nature