7 Crucial First Date Tips for Women
What are the MOST IMPORTANT first date tips for women?
Learn these 7 super critical first date tips for women to have a successful date. Learn first date etiquette, first date ideas, and how to make a positive first impression. There is a formula for how to have a great first date and trust me, you have the advantage in dating as a lady.
Here I share my best advice for the ladies who have the courage and desire to find a genuine connection. These date tips will help advance the successful first date to an awesome second date. These first date rules will guide you to feel confident whenever you go on a date with someone.
(While you’re here, you might want to check out my quick 2-question quiz to figure out What’s Your Ideal Type?)
Alright, let’s get into this essential date advice so that you can enjoy all your first dates!
Tip 1: Meet somewhere public (safety)
The most important first date advice for women is to meet at a public place when you are going on a first date with a stranger. Your safety is so important. You really need boundaries for yourself to make sure you are never exposing yourself to danger.
A lot of people would disagree about treating the date like a job interview, but essentially you should. You are vetting a potential partner who you want to eventually be spending time with. Dress appropriately and use the first date as step 1 in the evaluation process of whether or not the person is suitable for your investment of precious time and eventual body, mind, and company in life.
Potential red flags are when a guy asks to meet in private for a first date or asks to meet at late night for the first encounter. That is a big no no and you should not consider going on a date at all with the person. Avoid meeting in somewhere not public and avoid meeting outside of reasonable hours.
What to Do on a First Date (First Date Ideas)
An ideal first date is safe, simple, and fun regardless if there is a romantic connection. You want to choose an activity or place that you both could enjoy regardless if there is romance or not.
A few simple first date ideas are:
- Meeting up for a walk at a public park
- Coffee date at a cute cafe
- Grabbing desserts together (like ice cream!)
My favorite and go-to first date was a walk around a park and perhaps grabbing a drink or quick snack together for a casual stroll.
I am a true advocate of walking to ease any butterflies and to actively connect in a non-intrusive way. There’s always something to look at and as a result, neither person feels too much pressure from the intense attention of a one-on-one date.
It allows the connection to slowly build if there is any potential there.
Tip 2: Make the effort to try to be friends primarily
The mistake that people make in dating is not checking for a friendship foundation with the person. Imagine your life in a long-term committed marriage, what does everyday look like when you imagine those scenes?
As a fresh newly wed, I’ll tell you the juicy secret that time together as a committed couples means LOTS of relaxing together and doing our own hobbies simultaneously around each other. For example, as I write articles, my husband researches geopolitics. We take breaks and tell each other about what each one of us are learning or exploring. It keeps things really fun because he feels like my best friend who I get to hang out with every day.
This bond started since our first date, when we both knew that we would get along really well even just as friends.
At our start, it was up in the air if we were actually going to date one another because I was set to move within a few months and he was contemplating a 5-year graduate PhD program. Regardless of the future possibility of love, we knew we liked each other enough as just friends and that set the tone for our first handful of dates. Respectful and friendly.
I feel that same friendly respect now as his wife and it makes for a very enjoyable day-to-day experience, so I can’t recommend it enough to build a friendship foundation from the very start.
Get to know the person as a unique individual who desires genuine connection as much as you. Have a genuine interest in their hobbies, curiosities, and background. Ask questions to get to know them and really listen to their answers. Continue with follow-up questions.
What is a good first date?
A good first date makes both people look forward to a second date. It sparks a seed of hope for a future together. There is an aura of a positive attitude developing between the two because an authentic connection is shared and mysteriously explored. You get a good impression of each other in real life and leave the date wanting more.
The first date is filled with good conversation, good manners, and an overall positive experience.
Tip 3: Lean back & observe
The best first date tips for women are to relax into your feminine energy. Stop trying to do and to control, but instead lean back, allow, and just observe as much as you can. Pay attention to the person’s body language and facial expressions.
Fun Fact: Did you know that if a man stands with his feet apart he is interested in you? Versus if his stance is more relaxed and his feet together. The power stance is subconscious and used to communicate strength from a male. You will notice this phenomenon very easily when couples are waiting in life. Observe how a man stands in front of a woman he is attracted to. There is intention in how they portray themselves and it is primarily subconsciously done.
Learn about body language and become a keen observer of the hidden messages people communicate unconsciously. You will feel like a wizard on your first dates when you see clearly how people actually feel.
How to Act on a First Date
Now, you also want to be aware of what you portray via your body language. You’ll want to present yourself well and as a lady. The basics are to maintain good posture, practice friendly eye contact, and move with grace.
Don’t rush to do anything. Take your time and enjoy the experience slowly. By controlling your pace of movements and speech, you will have better mindfulness and come across as comfortably confident.
If you have first date jitters, just take a deep breath and pause for a momentary break to slow down in your thinking.
Enjoy the moment and practice being as present as possible while going on a date.
Tip 4: Smile, laugh, relax
Positive energy is contagious, so try your best to smile lots, laugh often, and really relax as much as possible during the first date. If you do this, you will have an inviting aura and infectious positivity. Try to have fun with the person and keep conversation light.
This will help make the experience more enjoyable for both you and the other person.
Try your best to keep out of your head and instead, relax into your body and indulge in your senses. Notice the smells around you and admire the beautiful details in your environment.
Laughing will calm any nerves of both you and your date, so be liberal with what you giggle or laugh at, even when his jokes can be a little cringe-worthy. You aren’t going to hurt anyone from laughing a little extra and you’ll find yourself feeling good anyways in the process.
Did you know that smiling actually releases feel-good neurotransmitters and can start a positive feedback loop? When you smile, you will encourage your date to smile too.
All thanks to our mirror neurons that activate from observing someone else’s facial expressions.
Just try it. Crack a friendly smile to someone and watch how the person will (most likely) smile back.
Tip 5: Don’t require him to pay for the date, but…
Don’t require him to pay for the first date, but do NOT go on a second date with him if he doesn’t. That’s the date advice my dad shared with me. He always says he’s from a different time than me, but if a man doesn’t pay for you, he’s not actually interested.
He may like you, but he won’t be head over heels in love with you ever.
Guys who don’t pay on the first date…
The common saying is men know IMMEDIATELY whether or not they like a woman.
Most women, on the other hand, can actually build up attraction to a man over time even if it wasn’t initially there.
But men are different. Attraction is either there from the beginning or it is quite unlikely to deeply develop.
When a man is strongly attracted to a woman, he will instinctually want to provide for her.
This is biologically necessary when considering the possibility of offspring. A man must reliably be able to fully provide for a woman during pregnancy and child-rearing, which is why it is custom that men pay. It’s not just good manners, but it’s evolution for survival.
So, if a man doesn’t pay for your first date, take it as a sign that you did not activate the provider switch in him and try not to get too butthurt.
Attraction is mysterious. Like how sometimes you are either really attracted to someone or you’re just not.
You just have to look at the situation honestly.
First Date Etiquette on Paying
First date rules are good to keep in mind, but all date tips are merely recommendations. You do what feels right to you. Sometimes you have to find out through trial and error.
As a general rule of thumb though, the etiquette for paying on a first date that I recommend for women is just to pause when the check comes. Don’t rush to do anything. Take a moment and observe what your date is doing.
Is he reaching out for it?
If so, great! Let him pay for it.
Then with a joyful smile, say “Thank you so much!”
Then continue talking about some conversation topics or ask your date questions.
I promise you, a man will happily pay for a woman who is gifting him great conversation on a date.
If there is any awkwardness, you can say something along the lines of “I’ll get it next time for us. I really appreciate you paying this time.”
Tip 6: Provide connection, inspiration, motivation
First Date Advice for Ladies
Masculine energy can be very structured, cold, and serious. Going on a date with a woman for a masculine man is like going on a vacation from the harsh masculine world. Most men never talk to others for the sake of being heard/deeply understood or for connection. In their work, they are confined to effective communication for productivity cases.
The experience of love is your natural gift as a woman and it is why men pursue women. On a first date, you can really impress a man if you tap into your feminine energy because masculine men deeply crave their feminine counterparts.
Men love women because women are a gateway to their humanness. Feminine energy embodies warmth, natural flow, and sweetness. If you share this side of you with a man, he will become addicted because it greatly contrasts the majority of his day-to-day life experience as a man in the world.
Dating is a balancing game. You want to communicate your warmth but do so with firm boundaries in mind. First dates are meant to establish a taste of what to expect moving forward together.
I’ll write more articles on first date tips and general date tips, so check back in the future for those on my website! If you have any requests, let me know in my contact form too!
What do guys expect on a first date?
Guys expect to explore their options on a first date. They are pursuers and opportunity-seekers and you (as a lady) are a gatekeeper. A man will expect you to set the tone of what the connection can be. Is it casual, friendly, or serious?
Dating is a game with back-and-forth testing whether a next date seems right or not. Both people are hoping for a perfect match and seeing if there are any deal breakers.
Men and women are interested in finding a suitable person because relationships are enriching. We crave connection. First dates a necessary step in the process for all couples, even ones that met online.
You must clarify what you expect and filter your dates by whether or not they meet your expectations of ideal partner. When a person doesn’t, don’t worry. You can look forward to your next first date then!
What to do on a first date with a guy?
Talking is kind of the main activity for a first date because ideally, you want to get to know each other at a deeper level. The whole point is to feel out whether there is potential with a person.
A successful first date is a great sign of the possibility of a future together. All couples have to start somewhere right?
A face-to-face talk, like at a sit-down restaurant, can be a little too serious for some.
Men bond primarily through doing things together, while women tend to bond primarily through talking together.
A good middle ground for men and women going on dates is to do something passively together while talking, such as walking! More fun options of activities are exploring a place together or visiting a casual attraction.
Tip 7: Teach him something
If all else fails, at least he can walk away a little more enlightened if you try to share a little knowledge on your date. Learning is enjoyable for most people because it equips a person to be more prepared for the future in some way.
You can make your date extra memorable by just taking an opportunity in conversation to share something helpful with the person.
Find a break in conversation to share a fun fact or a story with a point. Learning something interesting will be a positive experience and a pleasant surprise in the dating endeavor.
Conclusion
As an idealist, I love the idea of more love shared between people.
I know dating can be scary or daunting, but it’s an important part of maturation in life. As humans, we are inclined towards long-term monogamous relationships for the well-being of our families.
Going on a date should be fun and hopeful because it is the gateway to so many deeper life experiences, such as marriage and raising a child together one day.
Life is beautifully rich in its entirety and going on dates is a critical part of this whole other side of life waiting for you.
I hope you enjoyed these first date tips for women! I really love dating and look forward to sharing more content on these topics. Until next time!
P.S. Don’t forget to do the What’s My Ideal Type? Quiz!
